Athena

Lost in a prudish city,
Caught me with my eyes upon the ground,
You mind your business like the fealty,
Droning on about the latest frowns and furls, in this chilly world.

The air, comforts you with snow
Vapor wishing well your health from long ago,
You're here to do degrees, inside an igloo,
Of control, we're too flamboyant,
For the morning people,
Craving for a soul.


Going to nightclubs,
In your traditional wear,
Caging the silence,
Of those who stare.
Urgently we hold hands,
To the rollercoaster railings, of a happy hour,
Losing power, to alcoholic fate.


Human simulation is just wishing that all your dreams come true,
In a way doesn't disappoint, like a writer wills a world,
To comfort his failings,
Sharkboy and lava girl.

"I'm taken, so this has to be heartless"
Wisdom of a nihilistic enchantress,
I choose to live inside,
My fiction tonight,
As it crushes my night in real darkness.

A full name is not given,
It's the parentless god, wishing to be a mystery,
Only leaving lipstick marks on history,
Don't mind me,
I just miss the mist,
Laced with bad EDM when walking through the park
At 5 AM.

Bring out your flowy sleeves,
You ask me when I'm going to leave,
The plane is landing on the sidewalk,
Of your whimsical daydream,
Acknowledging the facts are true,
You're a fantasy for a summertime in June.

Fake

I grew up in a world obsessed with being real,

Trying to make it my every priority,
When it's barely my ordeal,
They ask me "Girl what is the foundation of your being,
Surely not the foundation you're wearing,
Here found on your facial features,
Is your actual self,

Stop lying and deceiving other people who want to see,
Their future in you,
With your lipstick puckered,
And your mascara uncovered
Also,
It looks more natural too"


Well I'm sorry,

That I wasn't born with clothes on my back,
As I am sure that when you came out from your mother's pussy,

It was with polyester t-shirts stuck to your chest,
Since you don't subscribe to anything at best,

Unless they are natural too?

The complicated truth,
Is that millions of beautiful wonders,
Do not come from an earthly womb,
Humans weren't made to play the violin,
We were not conceived with ridges on our fingers,
To ease the act of pressing strings for a chord to mesmerize a room,
Yet we practice and practice until the shivering timbre of thunder
Emanate from orchestras not made of clouds,

But of  carved steel and timber,
Composed or asunder
Til we've become indifferent to the pain of pressing metal,
In the pursuit of creating all that is magical,
But yet, not natural.

But then, 

You judge me for being fake, a mockery of authenticity,
Yet you use money, of which there is no inherent value,
The papers only by legal boards, central banking Edict & Virtue,
Does it hold worth in currency,

But I am not the current, see?
Not the oceans smitten by arbitrary winds - those monsoon breeze,
I build ships,
Armadas that do not sprout from the ground,
But from the trembling exertions of my aching hips,
Nailed, boarded, and christened,
Because, oh God, how I am bound,
To sail away from all your bullshit,
Accusing me of lacking sincerity,
As if my empathy,
Is based upon the shades of my lip kit.

Dear preacher, canonized,
Sainted by the Church of Conformity,
Noisier than the Vatican, hailing from Twitter City

I have read your scriptures, even let them read me
(Empty souls longing for community),
And I know you have no regard for what is natural
(We are not beasts, not animals)
You simply want to starve us off of our sense of self,
And delude us with some illusion of absolutes you nicknamed "normal",
Like trying to resurrect the laws of the jungle,
Where scurrying packs fear the unknown,
Obliterate all that they label "not understandable"

Well I am erasing all of your tick boxes and that is final,
I am not etched in stone,

The next time you whisper to your friends,
"Oh how plastic", as if it is not used to make prosthetic,
For the veteran who lost his arms during the war,
Or for the acid victim's surgery, attacked for what she wore,
Remind yourself that we all have our artificiality, 

We adore,
In our own amazing way,
Whether it's the computer-generated artistry,
We relish in our cinemas today,
Or the human-made flying machinery,
We long for (especially during delays),
Or the dreams we tell ourselves we will achieve someday,
Even if left under dusty floorboards of a decaying yesterday.

Note to self, dear reader:
We are special because we exceed the impossible,

What is otherwise limited by laws or physical barriers,
We overcome repeatedly since time immemorial,

It's the humankind career,
This obsession over what is natural,
Is clinical,
And to every degenerate still whining about makeup,
Our minds are made up,
This is the beauty I chose you see,
And nature has got nothing on me.

Shallow

You've been framed,
But not in blame,
Just put into a painting,
Permanent smiles,
In fashion aisles,
With no thoughts for your failings

So beam me better,
With laser scanners,
Bar codes on my conscience ,
So tell me dearest,
What's my problem,
What's my primal function.


Let's stay up, I'll make it clear,
You've become my fondest fear,
But I'm telling you to leave my side,
I'm telling you I have no more sides

Chorus:,
I am shallow,
I am shallow,
I am shallow,
I am shallow,
I hide behind my poetry,
And pretend I'm quirky ,
But when it gets too hard,
To minds, I pay no mind,
Oh I've loved the common things we find,
But if I wanna fuck, I want the model kind.

Self-entitled,
bottom feeder,
Fancy yourself a leader,
Social justice,
Beauty fascist,
Desire cares for neither.

Is it the porn?
Or all the scorn?
You feel from expectations?
They give you planets,
Photo sunsets
But you keep falling for conventions


I'll make it clear,
That you make me smile and that's probably why I'm here,
But I'm telling you to leave my side
Cause I say this without a tinge of pride.

Chorus:



Aku mampu menulis beribu puisi,
Kenapa kau mahu yang lagi ayu,
Busuknya, hawa nafsu,
Aku,
Kamu.

Ego

Inilah manusia,
Asal bukan ideologi sendiri,
Orang lain dituduh terpedaya belaka.

Tak kisahlah mereka,
Yang tulis liberal di atas panji,
Mahupun mereka,
Yang guna agama untuk jual diri.

Perbualan tamat,
Pabila dituduh tali barut budaya Barat ,
Persidangan khalas,
Tatkala dipanggil penyembah setia ustaz

Nilai hujah diketepikan,
Persoalannya,
Penghujah itu belajar UK ke,
Asal Kelantan?

Inilah manusia,
Asal bukan kepercayaan sendiri,
Orang lain dikhuatiri sesat belaka.

Jarang sesekali bertanya,
"Kalau aku yang sesat bagaimana pula?"

Kan semua orang dah terasa?

Livestream Philosofa

Lying on the couch sinking, thinking, inside the crevices of my cushions and mind,
Whoever has the nerve to call it the nervous system knows I'm constantly under a pile of proses, left behind,
Anxious, anxiety from ants excited to lie to me, want to lie with me,
While creeping up my body for the better good of some colony,
Or a queen, that I never said my 'yes's to, flipping through the channels and see what's flickering on the shiny tube,
I know that we're on the age of flat screens,
But why do all these TV shows depict such flat scenes, too many duped,
Two-dimensional,
And when your mouth is full, you have to mention all,
The ways in which society has taught you to be rational,
But all you feel is emotional, or appall,
National anthems, school halls
Nah, she nulls and ends them, screwball,
Inside my pinafore is the sound of a loud drum,
Beating "I've seen you before but I've only lived once and I'm 13 so how come"
In versions of pubescent dreams translated into mixtapes,
Recording all the times you said "I love you" and all they say is "this sounds great"

So here's the grate,
That locks me in, in sunlight,
Unemployed? Less annoyed if done right,
So I write,
Kalau setiap hari asyik nak mintak mak duit,
If  unsure just listen to the sound of angry fathers shout "If you want some Nike ticks on your bucket list,
Just do it"
It's just,
That I don't think I'm cut out for anyone's trust,
It's not just,
For most people whose complexion isn't fair,
When u wanna succeed, they get mad when some of us show our hair,
But that's neither here, nor there,
I end up talking about bigger things,
Coz the real personal stuff, gives me the scare,
But when it rings,
The telephone
Can sort of give me wings,
Coz hell is other people, but I'm other people to everything,
So I'm glad you didn't leave me alone

Even though you told me that you're sick of my homophones,
Though I turned off my Grindr, I relented and put my music on,
And call you up to talk about my Odyssey, these Homer phones,
This feels put on, but I carry on,
The faithless are the faceless sans a basis,
Funny what slows us down is usually the races,
And I'm not the predator,
But don't wanna be the prey,
So I'm stuck in endless loops of character,
And hardly able to pray,
Because I think it's because somebody once said that just because you're godless,
That should never really mean that you got less,
At stake, when they're burning witches at the stake,
Nobody wants to claim their mistakes,
I'm twenty three & eternity from nicotine & good steaks,
My heart doesn't beat as fast for you anymore, but maybe it's the smokes,
Not my losing interest in you, or that we were a joke

Remember when Osama bin Laden was shot in '11,
When bin Laden's body was bullet laden and we thought of heaven,
About to enter college, so our future came in many shapes,
Foggy, but illustrated in form, like if Gandalf vapes

But now around me I'm just building up my fences,
Drawing squiggly lines around love and other chances, dances,
Cigarettes, war, old age and romances,
It's easy to beautify when you're not facing the consequences.

Is probably the moral of this poem fuck I think I'll just end this.

No Body

Can it not be about my body?

Can it not be about the feeling of skin,
Or the softness of lips on the surface of sin,
Or the friction we've grown accustomed to,
From dirty porno fixes to romantic moving pictures,
It's always about films with you,
These movies,where people are bodies,
Chiseled or frizzled, suave, skinny and true,
With scripts of course written like those monogrammed letters in hotel lobbies,
Or desks in  school laboratories,
Scribbled with "I love you more than our molecular compounds,
Can ever allow for us to get close,
Damn these cellular walls
Damn you van der Waals"
And then with fat marker ink,
They crossed out with thin lines,
What they think,
While somebody adds with correction tape,
"JIWANG BABE",
By the side,
And by your side,
I'm alright,
As our words grow muted by the sound of candlelight,
And our fingers fidget with thoughts of what could be that night
When I hold your hand as we find out what sticks,
Sheets so cold but the heat takes hold, as you hold my
delusions for ransom,
And whispers echoing across a thousand rooms "Hey handsome",
Hey hotstuff,
Hey little death but bigger dooms,
And I've consumed,
Every single bluff,
I want the tinder in my flames to be that tender stuff,
And grind the visions of affection into some fairy dust,
That would blow into my eyes enough to ferry trust,
But I refuse to be my frame,
But I can't ask you to do the same,
So we left the game,
And my sense of shame, ,
Became these monologues, like
"If I was a floating mass of only thoughts,
And not my lack of strength or might,
Would it have been easier to fight?,
For you, and all that you've made me?
I know I'm not much for physiques,
Except the gravity of my wrongs"
Or maybe someday I'll be better,
Or lose some other parts of me,
But I won't beg for you to deceive,
And tell me what to believe,
Cause my sense of shame has wrought,
Its own story,
(Not a commentary,
Just becoming weary)
Anyway, if you're going to leave,

Can it not be about my body?

Please?

Little Freedoms

Here's to the people wearing rainbows,

And when haters ask, "You homo?
Because homos go to hell"
You say "Of course they do,
But can't you tell,
The rainbow's God's creation,
And not any group's sole possession"
While you're hiding your pride,
Out of fear,
They'll find out who you are inside.

And to my heathens,
Who read too many dinosaur books,
While raised with mosques and churches,
That exile Darwin as a dirty crook,
Nodding your head at every sermon,
Teaching Creation from their Scriptures
While in your heart are fossil sediments,
Real-life experiments,
Also death-inviting sentiments,
If these priests had X-Ray visions
They'll scan your soul with malediction.
,
Or to the warriors wearing clothing,
They don't really want,
Because they're too scared of their fathers, mothers
Or other judgmental grunts,
When they avert their gaze from you,
If they know what's good
And you, take off, or put on,
Whatever you think you should,
But in the morning after your secret patriarchy fights.
You hide back in the shadows, saving your self,
For safer nights.

The warmest love to friends,
Just trying to survive,
Bowing down to oppression,
While keeping more honest dreams alive,
Your racist grandpa who loves you but is a supremacist,
Give him a smile, whispering that you will persist,
In spreading truth, while donning a million masks,
But always hating yourself,
Always worrying,
Along the way you'll lose your grasp on the task.

Here's to those precious seconds we forget that most of them hate us,
You are not alone, and they're all just sulking bitter they ain't us,
Leading double lives, or sometimes three, with stacks of alter-egos,
The world's too big, you feel you're too small to try and be heroes.

If hide and seek's the game, and you don't really think you can change'em
Let's pay respect and raise a glass for our moments of little freedoms.