Girl

In a perfect world,
This red lipstick ,
Won't result in bleeding chins,
Or blood stains from hateful cane strikes to the shins ,
But they caught me and beat me,
Will I live long enough for this story?

In a perfect world,
My gender won't be such a statistical danger,
So people don't have to worry about sleepovers,
Or parents won't be so worried of their daughters ,
Just because  one of their friends,
Looks too much like a potential father.

In a perfect world,
I won't be accused of trying to get into anyone's pants,
Just because I have no problem holding anyone's hand,
Or cuddling with my loved ones when it's cold and because I can,
I've made it clear I do not want you,
But why is it because of my cock I suddenly need to?

In a perfect world,
I love you because of your person,
Not because Men's Health tells me that nerdy guys are in this summer,
Or if you want busty girls, here are ways to get her,
Or because my  hormones just wants to ramp it up a bit higher,
I want you because of my suden willingness to make myself vulnerable,
Not because I'm suddenly having a boner.

In a perfect world,
I will wear that dress,
And no one's gonna say "Wax already.
I thought you wanted to be a girl,
One that's pretty?
Are you just cross dressing?
Or do you wanna be Britney 'Britney'."

In a perfect world,
I won't have to feel guilty blaming my friends,
Because it's not their fault,
They didn't choose these currents,
These societal norms,
Their scared, tired parents,
These gender-segregated dorms.

In a perfect world,
I will be able to talk about it,
Even if I might come off as quite a nitwit,
I probably do not understand your struggles,
"You don't have a uterus, you don't understand our troubles"

Maybe I can't understand you,
I don't see through your eyes,
Or go what you go through,
But I'm trying
And can you try and understand me too ?

Coz I am trying, however clumsily, to speak for every woman who wants to grow a beard but still want God to forgive us,
For every man with manicured nails but want their guy friends to still think he's toughest.

I am speaking for myself, and all the people who want to be... a person,
Instead of a cog in your machinery of social movements.

You are uncomfortable,
I don't want to make you uncomfortable,
I'm sorry,
I forget I can't force anyone to accept me if they're unable.

But at least let me accept me.

In a perfect world,
I would accept me,
Instead of trying to forget about  an endless tug of war of what's "my acceptable identity",
Instead of smoking more and more cigarettes, to end it all slowly,
Because a knife to the solemn heart scares me.

In a perfect world,
I probably won't be a perfect girl,
But I won't have to be part of your depressing world.

But at least when I watch my life unfurl,
I get to do it with a grin,
With MAC on my lips,
Proud hands on my hips,
As a boy who wants to be his favourite girl.

Some perfect world.